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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Congress Backs Spanking Millions in Rockstar Witchhunt

Hide Your Eyes Kids!

Congress Backs Spanking Millions in Rockstar Witchhunt

"SPOnG doesn’t pay tax in the US so we’re really not qualified to comment on the use of tax dollars of the country’s citizens. Well, we often do, though that’s usually only in reference to foreign policy. And we’re foreign. To Americans at least.

Though it does seem a little strange that the vote in the House of Representatives today saw a massive majority (355-21) turn out in favour of hauling a videogames publisher over the coals.

As you may well be aware, it would seem that Rockstar didn’t quite tell the truth regarding it’s Hot Coffee modification in the game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The code, which enables players to control a genital-free triple position sex romp, was discovered when the PC version of the game shipped. Rumour had it that the scenes were already in the PC version and were not the result of the source code being modified, merely unlocked – some said pointed out by the publisher itself to garner publicity. Rockstar made a somewhat disingenuous statement on the matter and was found out when the original PlayStation 2 code was found to contain exactly the same scenes.

The investigation is aimed at finding out whether Rockstar intentionally misled the ESRB rating board to avoid having its best-selling crime romp slapped with an Adults Only classification. Congressman Fred Upton stated that he is “…outraged by the brazenness of Rockstar Games in their effort to do an end-run around the ratings system. Rockstar Games’ deceit has severely undermined the integrity of the ratings system.”

Rockstar is currently manufacturing a revised version of San Andreas that has had the offending code removed, though given the current climate on planet videogames, is likely to be nailed to wall by America’s moral crusaders. Until, of course, they turn their attention back onto hip-hop or gay art or something."

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